Monday Catch Up ~ Oh the joys of agoraphobia and the lessons to be learned

Hippy Moon Day Loverlies !!!

I do hope this weekend has treated you kindly. This weekend for me has been all sorts of "fun and games" and not in a "tag your it" kinda way.

We have only moved in properly as of Wednesday last week. For the week and a half before that Himself has been busily popping our stuff over on a parcel truck and running it round the corner!!! Bless him he truly is my hero. The Saturday we were due to start moving I lost the plot. The lack of routine and complete chaos I found myself surrounded by turned me into a puddle, so my hero packed up our brekky things and did the first trip to the new house at 7am on that Saturday morning with me in my pj's trotting alongside him. (Well hobbling but let's not split hairs).

From that moment I stayed in our new home and unpacked boxes and crates as they came in the door. It was fabbytastic and what made it better was I had the wonderful sounds of Serpentyne playing on the stereo. I have to admit at this point I think I might not have been as calm without thier beautiful music. It just struck a cord with me and brought me back to a place I haven't been in a very long time. A place of comfort and bliss. This lasted about a week ... and then the lads helped Himself bring a heap of stuff over in the car....

... and I was surrounded... I had visions in my head of walking through the living room and the boxes tumbling over in a wave ... and that for me was pretty much a breaking point. I fled from the room once the lads had left and hid in bed under the blankey. I wasn't coming out for anyone and since I wasn't allowed to pick anything up I felt worse because Himself was working his poor ickle butt off carrying our entire life together down 3 flights of stairs by the box load.

Sometimes I know my behaviour is childish and ridiculous, the worst part is I annoy the heck outta myself because I do it but I have no way at that point of controlling it and off I go into a downward spiral of a vicious circle that makes things worse until I can either find a way out of the house or find something to take my attention like a toddler really only a heck of a lot more of a heffalump to try and calm down.

The life of an Agoraphobic is a nightmare. It is very difficult for many people to understand. Some of us are lucky enough to have families and loved ones who do, but saying that not even some family members tend to always understand and to be honest how could they ???

When we find a focus we are amazing! we truly are we can do anything at all (mostly indoors) but truly anything at all because our focus on one thing is so great and undistracted. If however things don't go the way we think they should and if we think for any reason that people are going to be looking down on us because of what has happened whether it be in our control or not we fall to pieces. I don't mean a few minutes of tears I mean .. we drop ... we can drop lower than a Bi-Polar drop and it's scary for everyone all around. We even find ways to try and push those closest to us away and will do so to the a breaking point in our relationships. Just so no-one can find us. Luckily for some of us our partners are onto us and won't let us do it. In fact Himself is quite capable of coming up to me and saying "it won't work, you're stuck with me" when I have tried.

I am not writing this to make people feel sorry for me or even agoraphobics in general. What I am writing this for is to give some of you out there a little insight into our world. Our world is one full of ups and downs and sometimes not just taking things a day at a time but moment by moment. Every step out of bed is a win. Every step up the hallway is a win. Making a cuppa without someone coming with you to the kitchen is a win. Stepping outside the house is a MASSIVE win and going anywhere in the car or on public transport or even helping out in the local charity shop for a couple of hours once a week is one of the biggest wins there is.

The more we do the better we get. However it can take something quite small to set us right back at square one. The joy of it is it doesn't take as long to come back again out of it as it did the last time or the time before that.

I look forward to the day I know that I have had 10 days of bliss like the week I have a couple of weeks ago. It isn't far off I know that ... but it will take time. Patience is not one of my best virtues especially with myself. I am finding though I am learning to be kinder to myself, learning to accept me for how I am and learning to see the wins each and every one of them.

One of the biggest things I am learning is :~

Don't sweat the small stuff. 

When you first learn this you make a realisation once you put it into practice and that is :~

It's all small stuff

Truer words were never spoken. It's just learning that and keeping it close and putting it into practice when the bad moments hit. In the end we are doing the best we can. 

Having something to take our mind away from what it is that has set us off is important. I have started painting murals on our walls in the hallway. I have also taken up reading again the sort of reading that doesn't teach you anything it's just there to keep you occupied and maybe take you away from things for a while. 

The thing I am most proud of is letting people into my space, to be able to do this I had to be able to control the situation. This means I have now set up 3 days of craft groups at Pixies Rest.

This means I have to make sure that everything is ready for the days. Even if no-one shows not at the beginning it doesn't matter. It means I am more ready the next time, and the next time and the next.

Anyways one last thing ... learn to laugh at yourself, some of the situations we find ourselves in are ridiculous learn to see it for it's funny side.

Anywhooo that's enough from me tonight my head has started to pound a bit and I think it's time for me to go make some din dins so when Himself gets home he can eat.

Have a fabbytastic rest of your evening

xox Love and Light xox  

If you are interested in joining us on our PlayDays  feel free to check out our new website for more info. We would be glad to welcome you. We have a safe environment with understanding people and children are more than welcome.

Ode To The Week ~ In which I prove that Agoraphobics can be just as busy as everyone else !!!

Welcome to Freya's Day me Loverlies and we have made it through to another week YAY!!!!

I have been busier this week than I used to be when I was working full time 2 jobs and with my own catering company and bistro with 2 young kids and foster kids to boot!!!

Don't let anyone tell you because you are agoraphobic you can't get anything done, and certainly don't tell yourself that either. For myself I run a costuming business, a t-shirt design business and now am starting event organising as well, not to mention that I still find time to make our own cleaning products, bread and soy milk and everything else as well.

A normal day for me starts when the alarm goes off at about 7am, this doesn't mean I get up it means that I check all my emails etc and skype with my son, get all the paperwork done and then maybe get up at about 9am and start making bread and yummies for the day at the same time getting brekky ready!!! from there we either get things done in town IF I can make it, if not I get to designing and making calls for the things that need to be done. Orders to complete and events to organise and once lunchtime pops round the bread is ready and warm and yummy!!! The afternoon normally consists of meetings and sewing. Not only filling orders but making stock for when I can get to festivals outside of the events I organise myself.

Thursdays are a huge day for me because when I can I will hop on the free shopping bus and make it a couple of hours right out of my comfort zone in the mega supermarket and then treat myself to something very yummy in the cafe afterwards.

When ever I can I help out my Bootiful Cousin which is where I'm off too this evening ... not far away and in the dark for the most part so it makes life easier.

So please if you are reading this, agoraphobics are NOT lazy, they don't stay inside ALL the time, there are those that do in extreme cases but not permanently. and we are very constructive in our own way.

Don't judge what you know nothing about, and just because you can't see it from the outside doesn't mean someone isn't fighting a battle every moment of everyday.


xox Love and Light xox

Ode To The Week ~ In which I survive my first week blogging YAY!!!

WOW!!! Look where we are Freya's Day!!

I MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST WEEK BLOGGING!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

I am very exctied about this. I have to say that this Blog has done amazing things for me!!! I wake up in the morning thinking what am I going to do today for my Blog and I really have to think. It has given me a focus which is so very important, and it means that I now have a forum for ALL areas of my life in one place. Considering the way my mind works and with everything I want to achieve this has made complete sense of all of it and helped me to calm my brain somewhat.

I also want to thank everyone for thier support in this project of ramblings of mine. I found the stats bit and have watched the numbers climb and climb everyday and have sat here in amazement. I have seen friends post it on Twitter and Facebook and have been utterly amazed at them doing so. As for the beautiful comments left both on my Facebook page and in my inbox have given me the most tremendous boost. Considering this Blog is only 5 days old now I now have had 223 views in that time and I find that extraordinary and very very humbling. I just want to take this moment to say thankyou to each and every one of you YOU ROCK!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox

So enough of the mushy stuff here we go with my Ode to the Week :~

Pixie Towers is our home, it is where we live and we love it. It is a 5 room flat 2 bedrooms, a living room, a loverly kitchen (Which is where I have been writing this most of the week) and of course the bathroom. Most of the time our loverly home is a tranquil setting and people come up just to chill out, which I love. However this week it has been turned on it's head with moving the place around a bit. we have moved into the workroom as we have been making space for a couple of extra beds.

I so can't wait to have my own workshop space, I think we are starting to get to the point where we actually need it !!! Mind you for a lazy bum Pixie like me not having to get out of bed to get some work done isn't the worst thing in the world teeheehee. It is awesomes for me cos it means I can work at all hours without feeling bad about it cos I am still in my nest .... technimacally anyways hehehe.

Just so you get a little idea of our workspace/bedroom is like now take a peek at this :~

Oh yesh and this was my treasure trove I found whilst sorting out the room, I went from "I has no fabrics boohoo " To this :~

Yeap that there is all my fabrics that I founded !!!  That haven't got a home yet ... and aren't for already on the go projects and jobs !!!

It's good though cos I have been eyeing it up thinking "hmmm not enough blooo I needs more bloooo" teeheehee :D

So yes it has been all fun and games round here but the job is almost done!!!

We were lucky enough to meet a loverly couple yesterday Jean and Martin who will be playing for us at the Edge of The Moors Faery Festival in July they are loverly loverly peoples and soooo talented, I tell you what you ever want to have the best experience of people in the world start organising events like this cos it truly is an eye opener !!! Amazingly talented people from all over the country and wonderful giving and generous of thier time and effort and everything else, it truly is a wonderful experience for me, and I hope it will be for everyone else as well. If anyone is reading this and wants tickets to the Ball please check out our website we would LOVE to see you at the festival :~

Bloo Pixie Events ~ Edge of The Moors Faery Festival

We have almost sold out of stalls too now and it's just amazing I can't wait to see everyone set up it will AWESOMES!!! Now all I have to do is find a couple of water sprites or mermaids and we is all set !!!

Himself has been utterly awesomes this week as always helping me out in all my crazy plans and supporting each and every one of them. I did tell him that it was jsut as well cos it was in the job description when he signed up teeheehee :D

I have to admit though he does put up with rather alot from me, both with calming my Agoraphobia and putting up with Pixie Tantrums and helping me stand back up when i bend down too far !!!  He truly is awesomes and a real blessing xox

Oh GOOD Grief!!!! all mushy again ugh really !!! I tell you what he truly has turned me into a right Girl!!!

Am very excited also cos Fallen Angel Studios might just be going to ArmadaCon in Plymouth and running workshops ... am very excitementated!!! More about that as and when it happens :D

Well I think that jsut about rounds up the week... I won't know what to do with myself tomorrow since this is a Monday to Friday thing for me... oh yeah get some work done HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ooooo actually if I do that then maaaybe that will cover my Stitch and Bitch next week .... well me thinkies that is quite the idea ...

Well I'm off til Moon Day

Have  a FAERYTASTIC weekend!!

Do something randomly nice for someone!!

xox Love and Light xox

Stitch and Bitch ~ Pixie Hats and the joys of Agoraphobia

Happy Tuesday me Loverlies !!!

Here we are at our very first Stitch and Bitch and I am going to show you how to make one of these :~

Nooooo not the loverly model ... he's mine and you can't have him!!! I shall however show you how we made the Pixie Top Hat.

What has this to do with Agoraphobia??? I hear you ask, well if youa re sitting comfortably then I will begin.

Being Agoraphobic is not fun when the big episodes start. There are those who won't leave thier home at all and then there are those like me who have good days and bad. My good days mean that with the right sort of head gear I can go out and about in town. On a bad day if I HAVE to go out I will wear my duffle coat which is a loverly velvety patchwork number with a HUGE hood which pulls right over my face meaning all I can see are my feet. Not very practical but with Himself at my side I can get through to see the Hodge who is awesome. On a good day I don't need the duffle coat instead I will wear my Pixie Top Hat, which gives me the feeling of being protected whilst not looking quite like a "Patchwork Palpetine" as Himself has named me *sighs* . It also means that in Summer I am not going to be so hot I pass out, which is also a sensible consideration when it comes to getting dressed.

So here we go :~ The Patchwork Pixie Top Hat

First off here is a picture of the pattern pieces you will need. They are very simple and not at all difficult to work out (trust me if I can figure it out so can you).

To measure the pattern pieces you must take the measurement around the head it needs to fit. from that you now have the circumferance of the circle for the top bit, the length of the side panel AND the inner circumferance of the brim. Not bad going for one little measurement huh!?!

Now the next thing you need to do is work out how tall you want your hat to be I work in 4 inch blocks and my hat is 8 inches tall (Not a size Queen .... much hehehe). so to make your side block take your head measurement and add the height you want plus 1 inch plus 1 inch for the length. "Oh no!!!" I hear you cry "but we don't know inches". Ok well for every measurement I give you multiply it by 2.5 and you have your centimetres. I prefer inches they are more accurate for sewing.

You have also your measurement for the top so cut yourself a circle with the same size round as the length of your side panel.

For the brim use your top panel and draw a half circle or a whole one if you have lots of fabric and make it 3 inches wide and draw the outside circle to make either a half circle or a full tyre shape.

Sewing up :~ First off cut yourself 2 pieces of  each of your pattern in calico or curtain lining or whatever you are using. For the brin you can fold the fabric in half if you are using a large piece or cut 4 semi circles and sew 2 of them together to make your brim circles.

Sew the side panel first giving yourself a 1/2 inch seam (1.5cm). Next attach the top and then the brim. each with a 1/2 inch seam. This is now your inner lining and it will look like this :~

If you are really clever you can get it to stand up like this :~

Next you get your other pattern pieces and start pining your patchwork fabrics on however you want. Take your time or don't its up to you. I tend to pop them all on and just sew them all up like crazy paving. It's far more fun that way. But you can be as fussy as you want to be.

Next you sew the patchworked pieces onto the pattern pieces however the have been pinned. Please remember to take out your pins, they really do hurt if you forget!

Then sew up the pattern pieces as you did the lining. If you have gotten this far and it looks like this on the outside :~

And this on the inside :~

You are an Utter Genius !!! and don't let anyone tell you otherwise !!!

All that is left for you to do now is pop the lining inside the outer hat and sew the brim and you are done!!

Now please please remember to get this the right way in first time, otherwise you will cry and you could shrink your hat depending on the fabric used!

Here is a pic to demonstrate how it should look with the lining about to be sewn in place :~

See the seams are together ... awwwww they likes each other !!!



Now all you have to do is pin the brim together but fold it in on itself and then sew it as close to the edge as you dare!!!


Once you have done that you have your hat and you too can look like this :~

Now if of course you are far too lazy to do this for yourself, you can of course get one from me here :~

Fallen Angel Studios

because round here they tend to breed !!!

I'm sure they are part Tribble !!!

Anywhoo away I go again ...

Have a great whatever it is you are doing (details are not a requirement :P)


xox Love and Light xox